Monday, December 20, 2010

Eye of The Tiger-Bob

Check out the intensity on Vegas Bob after his CX race last weekend! That is EXACTLY the way I look at fried clams, and the way Vanessa looks at moon-shine! Crap Bob, even if you didn't win they should still have given you a gold medal for "Best Glare."
Bob blasted through the last 100 yards of mud/feces to take 7th place by one second...

Friday, December 17, 2010

ROYAL RACING Products Ready To Ship!

**Jim Roff's Tomac Primer alongside the Royal van in Colorado.

Jay graciously shipped out my two new pair of ROYAL gloves last week, and they are TITTIES! OK, they aren't made from actual titties, but they about as nice as your average PAIR of titties. Sure, you put your hands IN the gloves, and you place your hands ON titties...but they are still super nice.
I have the Royal "Crown" gloves in blue, and the Royal "Victory" gloves in black. I'm pretty sure they the finest gloves I have ever seen.
Fit is perfect, with no bunchy crap on the fingertips, and the .8mm LEATHER palm is as smooth and silky as titties. The wrist closure on the Victory pair is sweet, too, wrapping in a way that you don't feel the compression of the strap at all. I can't wait to get out and get my hands on them...uhhh IN them...crap...what were we talking about?

**No actual titties were harmed in the making of these gloves.

Check out for styles, colors and prices on the the sweet new outdoor apparel...available NOW, just in time for Christmas!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Vegas Bob's CX Update!

Hey Chris!
Last weekend was a cyclo-cross double-header in the SoCal Prestige Series. And it was a great one for me.

On Saturday it was down to San Marcos . On the way to San Deigo, it was a quick 45min from the house. Yes, this actually allowed me to show up well in advance of start time! I was able to get registered, run one pre-lap, warm up on the trainer, and since the races were actually running a bit late, another 2 pre-laps. I’m totally serious. Stop laughing.

I hadn't gone to the three previous races because of big drive times, so I had been knocked out of the top ten in the points, but was still able to get a good starting spot in the second row. It was a beautiful West Coast day, with high clouds drifting across the sky and a perfect 70 degrees. The starting bell rang out and with my good warm-up I was able to speed up the long grass straightaway and into third place. We angled into a sweeping left and then over the only set of barriers. After that was a hairpin right and another long straight. The rest of the course was mostly a soon-to-be construction zone for the UC campus’ athletic fields, which meant lots of hard-pack dirt, but also some super-slow speed tight turns over gravel.

After the first gravel “S” and another hardpack fast section was the “run-up”. It was only terribly loose on one side and I had successfully ridden up the other side every time in practice, but with my heart rate over 190 and the other riders it was much more difficult and I only made it ¾ up before I had to awkwardly dismount while someone passed me. After that we wound between trees in a complete bed of gravel. Unfortunately, in the last of these turns, the second place guy spun out his back tire and flopped to the ground right in front of me and the 3rd place guy. We were able to skirt around him, but only barely and slowly, allowing first place to get a big gap on us. I got a little jump being first one out of the turn, but the guy who crashed was angry at himself and strong on the flats and was able to bridge to me and leave the now fourth-place guy well out of our wake.

We tried to carry our speed through the next section, a crazy little mix of bmx whoops and almost-dried wheel-sucking mud, it was a toughy. One of my friends in another race later snapped his aluminum downtube in that section! Luckily without any injury, as the intact top tube kept everything together. Before figuring it out it was a complete frame fracture, he actually thought he had a flat tire.

After that were the most turns of the course, with switches from dirt to sidewalk to grass to parking lot asphalt, to gravel to dirt and then back to grass for the last chicane before a sweeping right to the finishing straight. I kept 2nd across the line for the start of the second lap, but after the barriers my cohort did a couple massive attacks on the straightaways and passed me. I stayed a bike-length behind though, and even after trying unsuccessfully to ride the run-up again I was right behind him. Unfortunately, yes, this was gravel-impaired guy and he on this lap he tried again to take us both out in that same turn. Track standing and creeping, I was able to barely get ahead of him, but again he attacked like crazy and caught me. He apologized profusely, too, by the way. This was how every lap of the race went, however, with him unleashing a mad attack on the straightaways, getting in front of me just before the gravel section and then flailing again.

With first place well distanced from us, and not willing to pop my eyes out with a heart rate over 200, I decided it was best to let him continue to do his thing. We did 8 laps, and ¾ through the race it became clear to me I could capitalize on this consistency. On the last lap I waited until after the whoops and decided to make my move. The first two turns were 90 degrees, and with a two foot high embankment on one side and a chain-link fence on the other it was impossible to get around. The next was onto concrete and then an “S” into a singletrackish dirt-between-grass. He swung wide for the first turn and I had plenty of room on the inside to brake late and make the pass. I swung a little wide into the next one, trying to keep my momentum, and then stood up and gave it everything as I bumped up onto the lumpy grass. I shot out onto the pavement and then took the last gravely section at the very edge of traction, trying to maximize the gap and not let him draft behind me. Midway through, I caught sight of the race leader. He had seen us though, and stepped up his pace. I flowed through the last turns as fast as I could, my heart pounding, trying to figure out whether I had to worry more about trying to stay in front of 3rd, or if I could catch 1st. Immediately I realized that these two required the same solution: stomp on the pedals! Around the course barriers of the last turn I couldn’t see first so I did a quick look-back and knew I had second locked up, but kept on the gas. As I got to the finishing straight I saw 1st, but wasn’t close enough to challenge. I ended up 4 seconds behind him, 8 seconds in front of 3rd, and very happy!

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Ryders Eyewear On The Backboners.

So, I'm not sure about anyone else out there (I am, that's just a joke) but I must tell you how much I LOVE my new Ryders Eyewear sunglasses. I happen to have the "Stealth" model, and they are better than anything else I have tried so far. Great wind deflection, color separation, depth, and they stay exactly where I want them to no matter how hot it is outside. They haven't scratched, and the rubber nose and ear pieces have not come apart a bit. Jeff LOVED his, until a German Shepherd attacked him while on a ride in Greenbo State Park this year. He's expecting a new pair any day now.

Vegas Bob uses the Ryders Eyewear "Tread" with great success. Bob races 'cross, XC, and just about anything else he can find..even ostriches! Looking extra Gangsta in his murdered out lenses, VB looks fast just standing still...which he's likely to be doing at any given race thanks to the world he lives in where alarm clocks don't exist.

Even Randy's wife Kim enjoys the Ryders performance advantage. Randy drinks heavily, and when he does, he gets naked. Now, he's MOSTLY extra tanned and leathery, but there are a couple of very small white areas on his body, and Kim needs the added protection of her Ryders lenses to keep her retinas from exploding. She can also pretend she's paying attention to him while he's talking, but with the darker shade of her sunglasses, she can actually take a nap.

Lydia has four pair, and they all get used for shows, photo shoots, driving AND riding her bike. Lyd prefers the "Ho-Go" style, you know, the ones that cover your entire the "Duchess" in white. Team riders Matt Thome and Vanessa Humic also love their Ryders Eyewear, but they reserve them for racing the U.S. Cup Series, Sea Otter Classic, Cal State Series and other West Coast throwdowns. We all love our shades, and woould like to say a big ol' THANKS to RYDERS for the help!