Bonelli Bling!!

What does every woman want on their finger, and every rap star want on his teeth?
GOLD!! Well, then we are set at the VIBE awards AND at the Playboy mansion, because of the nine racers we fielded on Sunday...we came out with 5 GOLD MEDALS! The race started out w/ Ryan (formerly known as "Baby-Bert") and his sister destroying their collective fields in the Junior race. Both mined GOLD, but for Ryan it did not come easy. The small one, you know, with the dad who tries to live vicariously through his hard working NINE year old, gave it hell, only to lose to RYAN by a hair. Ryan would return for the adult beginner lap, winning that as well...then came back for thirds in the Super-DIZZLE! These Blanchette people must have ben weened on EPO, HGH, and some of Super-Chicken's Super-Sauce!
Heidi Volpe also won her XC field, then went on to SCHOOL Heidi K. (Expert XC for Bear Valley) in Super-D. She crashed, though, and lost in the last ten feet...BUMMER! Mike, Heidi's fiance, also ran honorary Backbone colors in the Sport XC race, placing a well earned 13th.
DAWN LYONS came out of a place called the Doldrums to KICK ASS and land on the podium in second as an Expert!! GREAT JOB DAWN, you frigin rock!
Oscar R. brought out enough family/friends (HEY STEVE!) to worry the I.N.S., and had a great time racing with his buddy Steve. Oscar placed 17th, and was happy the course was not as tough or as muddy as Sea Otter.
KING JAMES Cross absolutely HAMMERED his way to a 6th place finish, erasing any doubt that he is ready to pound all of you into the ground on any given day. James has been working very hard in the saddle, and is ready to show ya'll what's up!
He also ran the Super-Dizzle, but was caught up by slow-pokes at the start. He still finished in 5th, however, and flexed on the competition!
Vegas Bob rolled out from Stripper-Land and kept it real.....REAL FAST! Bob busted out his three laps post-haste, and finished in 12th place. Not bad for a guy who is soooo busy with the ladies he barely has time to train! :)
Now on to Bert "The Hurt" Blanchette. Bert rode around with his younglings all morning, then suited up to race the Semi-Pro XC. Now, as many of you know, Bert is almost as old as my girlfriend. Not quite, but close. That means that Bert is very near death....and yet still competes with the youngin's in the open Semi-Pro category. Bert, by my calculations, was in the top 5 to 7 in his class....and with three miles to go, his XTR rear derailleur split in half, along with his
chain. Bert still finished in 11th place, only 14 minutes behind the winner...walking the last three miles! Oh yeah, then he took his SEVEN CYCLES SOLA HARDTAIL, and won the Pro/Semi-Pro Super-D downhil race! Is this guy fast or what?
Anyhow, one day he will slow down...probably just to grab his medals, but he will slow down!
I'd like to thank all of Oscar's buddies, ARA & STAKK, Mike, Jay (the wrench that resurrected Bert's Sola), Alex Da Heavy, Bert's family, and all i am forgetting for helping, BBQ'ing, and racing. See everyone next weekend at either the Fruita Fat Tire Festival (Jim Roff), X-Terra Castaic (Heidi/Mike), or Firestone Walker! Hell, even Jeff Williams is racing back east this weekend! Best of luck to all of you, see ya soon...

Cap'n Schwanstukka