One Team, Three Venues...

So this is what it's like to actually live up to the term "Backbone Adventure Cycling." This weekend we had THREE FRONTS on which to compete. In West Virginia's State Series, we had JEFF WILLIAMS busting out the Sport Class. In Lake Castaic, CA, we had HEIDI VOLPE re-tooling the women in the X-Terra qualifier, and up North in Los Olivos, we had the rest of the squad hitting the #3 Cal State race at Firestone-Walker Vineyards. My cel phone I think may have exploded during the past two days, with reports coming in from all over the country!
First to strike was Jeff, using his blazing fast KENDA tires to tear through a 60 plus deep field of XC racers. Jeff would slug it out to an amazing 4th place podium spot. I will hopefully have pix of Jeff soon! (hint-hint)
Heidi swam, rode and ran her collective ass off on Sunday, too. She called to tell me that although sh is but a Sport XC/DH racer, she absolutely SCHOOLED the Pro X-Terra women's field on the bike, making up many minutes from the swim. After talking trash on the hill climbs ("you ladies do these alot?") Heidi unfortunately struggled on the run...but still did very well (results pending, but top 10).
For the group at Firestone, Jay, Conor and Taylor (Chucky) were first up on Saturday for DH. With times in the 1:30's, the course was more 4X than DH, but VERY FRIGGIN FAST. Fontana NCS looming a week away, many Pro's came out to test their mettle and prepare for this weekend's big dance. Our boys played it conservative and raced clean enough to be injury free for this week. Taylor DID manage a sweet off-course tabletop landing on run #1 that may have ended in his own mandatory bowel evacuation.
Here is one of the great stories of the weekend..
ARA (the FUZZIEST) Movsessian, after NO SLEEP thanks to Stakk's moose-like snoring, was up and racing at 7:50am. WHY? The 75 miles of XC bliss called the "MARATHON." This being his first, no one really even expected him to finish the 1,200 feet per lap of climbing (5 laps!). In typical Fuzzy fashion, Ara kept going like a hairy Juggernaut, completing the race in under eight hours. Oh yeah, did I mention it was 80 degrees and humid as a mo' fo'? IT WAS. See the Jim Roff Family Colorado Report for Fuzzy's colorfull past at Firestone....please.
Next up was Ryan Blanchette. After a night of Sarsaparilla drinking in the Union Hotel bar, Ryan managed to sack up and run a huge xc lap out, finishing in SECOND PLACE! Dad, are you letting him borrow your Lance-approved E.P.O?
The next great story of the weekend............
Bert "The Hurt" was being rectally exponged by a NORCAL racer for a full 28 of the 29 miles of the semi-pro race! Watching the entire course from the Backbone Mobile Assault Vehicle (my truck), I watched as mile after mile went by with this lycra clad lesion attached to Bert's ass. In a move of historical unsportmanlike conduct, this jack-hole NEVER took a pull...and even had the bag to ask Bert for water as he was being "chauffered" around the course. Here comes one of the MANY reasons I like Bert....Bert never even said anything to this douche-nozzle. He just rode on and on, never asking the guy for help or even stopping to beat the living hell out of him. Good things come to good people though (is that why I have noth...never mind) and Bert placed inside the top ten in Semi-Pro, earning a spot to race at the Mammoth NORBA Champiionships. Nice work Bert!
Vegas Bob raced in the heat as well.....when he wakes up, I'll let you guys know how he did.....Bob.....wake up Bob....work tomorrow Bob....:)
Dawn "my t-shirt has bumps" Lyons came out also, to defend her crushing 2nd place race from Bonelli. Aboard the world's crappiest bike (Intense Spyder), she still managed to claw her way to the finish line. Dawn dug so deep Sunday, it's gonna take a case of Double Barrel Ale and the "Thunder From Down Under" to help her recover!
King James came out swinging Sunday, as well. With a freshly rebuilt Turner rear-end and NO FRIGGIN WATER......(pregnant pause)..........................James hauled ass up a course he was assured he wasn't racing by the event timing staff. With a mis-communication between myself and James, he did not have a feed zone where he thought he would, and had to suck it up until he made it to where I thought it was...unfortunately it was too late to save the King, and we lost him due to de-hydration and lack of recent sex. O.K., I added the sex part, but the no-water thing really happened.
In attendance this weekend were faithfull Backbone support staff STIKKITY-STAKK, one of the Glendale Heavies who's not so heavy, Desi-Lou, Chris from the Union Hotel and Victorian Mansion, and Vanessa and her hubby. Thanks to Stakk especially for his tireless work at the e-z-up, and out on course feeding the peeps.
So that's it guys, next week is the NORBA National Series Opener here on our home turf, FONTUCKY! Pix will be posted over the next few days, so keep checking!
VERY SPECIAL THANKS TO LOYAL TEAM SPONSOR, UNION HOTEL AND VICTORIAN MANSION OWNER CHRISTINE WILLIAMS! We sucked up every room she had, and for what? A bunch of ungrateful, smelly mountain bike racers! I better hear about some thank you calls, or balls will be broken! Great job to ALL of you, and thanks for the constant updates fom Jeff and Heidi..

Cap'n Chris