Cel Phones

McDowell Mountain park, near Scottsdale Arizona.

I hate noise on my rides. Unlubed chains that sound like Panzer tanks, creaky crank arms, etc. I leave the house clad in what is possibly the most dangerouly gay outfit a straight guy could ever wear (ok, except wrestling tights) to escape the noise of work and civilization. The last thing I want to hear is the shrill sound of a cel phone wailing like a Harpie when I'm rolling through the backcountry. Oh sure, there are things like "Safety," and "911," but if I'm going to die, I'd rather do it WITHOUT the sound of Puff-Daddy's latest down-loadable ringtone buzzing from my jersey pocket.
What about cancer, too? Sure they SAY they are safe, but Madame Curie died from radiation poisoning, and the microwaves that baked her haven't changed. Do I really want something in my pocket that melted the chocolate in the scientists lab-coats in Los Alamos, New Mexico so many years ago? I guess if I did get a tumor on my hip I could hog it out and use it for spare inner tube storage! Cel phones I hate...but there's another satanic noise making device that I hear when I'm out.
I-Pods will make the CD obsolete very soon. Remember the Eight Track Tape, and Vinyl records? How about all those cassette tapes? You know, The Blowmonkeys, Rick Astley, Kajagoogoo? They sold millions, so don't act like you were the only one NOT buying those albums! I-Pods are the next eight track, and I'll be damned if I haven't heard Rod Stewart's "Tonight's the Night" while passing a guy on a bike that was way too expensive for the talent level of the rider on it. Why? Does the car not have a radio? Can we not leave the house for even an hour without some type of artificial stimulation? Please help me to enjoy my silence, and leave the satellite navigation-flip-down DVD-Cuisinart blended-wi-fi-whatchamacallits where they belong...anywhere but where I'm riding.
Well, that's all the witty banter I have for tonight...gotta go turn on the Plasma big screen with surround sound and watch helmet cam footage..:>

Chris