Conor Rowan To Move Back East

Backbone semi-Pro DH racer Conor Rowan is rumored to be heading to the east coast with his new bride this year! Conor and Jay have worked together at team sponsor Six Six One (Valencia Sport Group) for a while, and Conor is just plain sick of Jay's crappy attitude. When asked in a recent interview why he wanted to leave California, Conor replied..."Jay is douche-nozzle, and he picks his nose. It's not uncommon for Jay to leave fecal matter in the urinals at work, and blame me for it. He also claims to be my biological father, and I hate that."
Jay Schippers, who also races Semi-Pro DH for Backbone, calls these allegations outright lies. Jay states that Conor is leaving because he is jealous of the fact that he is much better at unicycle-gap-jumping, and that Conor's unborn children probably look like him. No one really knows what to believe, mostly because I am writing this story.
We wish Conor the best, and actually hope he does NOT leave. Conor has been an integral part of this team for two years now, and it would suck giant squid testicles if he does in fact move. Please call Conor and ask what the hell is on the east coast besides Jersey girls that is worth leaving CA for. Thanks for your cooperation.

The management.