The Urban Eskimo

photo courtesy Michael Darter, and is neither urban, or of any Eskimo


My coworker and fellow cyclist Ed Luck and I were cruising to a jobsite at Simon Cowell's house the other day (that's right, THE Simon Cowell) , when Ed spotted an "Urban Eskimo." Not understanding, I said "What the hell is that?" Ed was looking to his right out the car window at a young girl in a fur lined jacket and UGG boots. As the dimmer switch was rolled to high, my brain finally grasped the hilarity of the joke, and I promptly wet myself. He was referring to this girl who, on an EIGHTY DEGREE DAY, was in full Inuit garb. It was classic. It could not have been hotter, and this girl looked like she was returning from her first Narwhal kill with a blood stained flencing knife. Oh, but did I mention it was in Hollywood, CA? later that week, the news reported that all those jackets had fur lining made from dogs! Sweeeet.
Anyhow, thanks to guys like Ed Luck and Vegas Bob for bringing me such comedic gold mines as "Urban Eskimo" and "Muffin Top." For those who don't know, "muffin tops" are girls who wear low-cut jeans and their GIANT FAT LOVE HANDLES and BEER GUTS hang over the sides. Gold I say, just gold.