"Comfabilladey"

With the exception of the late, great Marty Feldman....


People with lazy eyes freak me out. Marty Feldman was a funny-ass bastard, so maybe that's why I was able to stomach it. Today, a gentleman came in and asked me about bikes. "I did my research on bikes" he said, that right eye glaring into space like a chameleon staring at a bug on the right side of his face. I began to sweat, thinking that somehow his lazy-eye would infect me and began to make MY eye wander. Whenever they say they did their research ( and by "they" I don't mean to just single out lazy-eyed folks..that's everyone), that's typically a clear indication that you'll be busy for the next two hours explaining that the on-line forums he was reading were total crap.



Is "Comfabilladey" a word? He wasn't suffering the effects of Down's Syndrome or any other like abnormality. It had to be home schooling in a Branch Davidian compound or some such deal. He wanted something with "comfabilladey" apparently welded to the bike somewhere, or somehow bonded into the carbon stays. After exhaustive research on Webster's New AND Old World Dictionaries, I found nothing to explain that bit of vocabulary wizardry. What is comfabilladey? Is it a longer headtube, shorter top-tube, flanged grips with an ulnar nerve gel-pad insert? The answer is different for everyone I would imagine.


Comfabilladey for me is the deep maroon fake leather booths at the Old Bag Of Nails Bar down the street. Cut from the finest Corinthan Leather (yeah, because THAT exists), when I am in those booths, I know good beer is coming. Oh, and onion rings..lots of onion rings. My MAXM Ti railed saddle is very comfabillady too. After a weld-seam-on-my-nut-bag-splitting ride over baby-head strewn trails, that saddle has been so good, it gives me a lazy eye. So despite the lack of tangible evidence regarding proper schooling, I believe he wants to be comfortable.


Jacuzzi's are comfortable. First class seating on a 777 gets pretty comfortable, too. A used road bike from 1972 that is at least eight sizes too big for you? Probably not gonna' be the kind of comfortable you see in the Colt 45 ads with Billy-Dee Williams when he says "Colt 45...works every time." Having both eyeballs looking at the same thing would be comfortable, too....unless you are looking at me in a skinsuit. That would be found under the "Uncomfabillady" banner...









I gotta' go, my eye is starting to twitch...