Fontucky NMBS This Weekend!

The mayor of Fontucky wants everyone to breed. That's right...he's trying to weed out all the toxic-birth babies and inbreeding. He wants all visiting teams to mate with a local Fontana resident and help him elevate the woefully inadequate marketing chances in his town. It's hard to attract new business, tourism, and new residents when your town motto is "Hey. I can see the 60 freeway from here!." So please don't break the law and make sweet love to a Fontana local next weekend while racing the NMBS season opener. Wear a paper Stater Brothers bag on your head if you have to, but please help.
Good luck to everyone, I am sorry we can't be there for this one. Work just wouldn't gimme it off, especially since Sea Otter is so soon and WAY more important.
Have fun, and drink a ton of good beer....after all, your mountain bike racers, right?