Darwin Versus CLIX

The official quick-release of idiots and lawyers, the CLIX.






I see many things come and go in the bicycle industry. I wept openly when the "Height-Rite" adjustable seatpost spring-thingy went away. I miss the OLD Klein bikes. Ritchey P-Series hardtails were the shit. That little thing that makes flat-tire changes take under a minute during a race? Soon to be gone from factory equipped bikes. The common quick-release is one of the simplest, easiest to understand and use pieces of mechanical engineering ever devised. Stupid people will soon be ending it's reign.










My hero, Charles Darwin. Modern science and frivolous lawsuits have made his natural plan obsolete.








Darwin's evolution idea is pretty spot on. If you are slow, weak or too dumb to breathe...you die. That's great, because it ensures the survival of the species. Lawyers and science are seeing to it that we are overpopulating the planet, and the CLIX system I will hold personally accountable for a great majority of it. Do we REALLY want a kid who is so dumb, he can't operate a cam-lever? That kid will grow up (if we don't allow him to take himself out) and operate heavy equipment or a nail gun, and grieviously wound someone you like. It's natural selection that should remove this person from society, so you don't have to deal with him later. The standard quick-release is a great test for humanity. Without it, all hell will break loose and the species is doomed.






Diagram of something that used to be simple....and now is a bonafied pain in the ass.





The ability to engineer our way out of natural selection is not good. More idiots on the planet mean the ratio of crazy people to normal people is greatly increased. Then, the crazy people get to say what's normal. That isn't good either. Ever seen Road Warrior? Yeah, feelin' me now aren't you? PLEASE request a standard quick-release on your bike. That way, if YOU are the crazy dumb one, you can die and all will be right with universe...