Saturday, July 04, 2009

Fatty Got To Ride!

You goddamn right it does.

On Backbone Trail high atop the Santa Monica Mountains near Pt. Mugu, in 2005 on the old bike.


O.K., so here it be. I snuck out today for an hour of road riding (on the mtb), because I was off work and had the time...a rarity anymore it seems. It has honestly been about a month or so since I have even pedaled a single turn, and it was liberating. I am posting these photos not for you guys..but for me. I am shaming myself into forcing the time to get back in the saddle and ride every day. I only rode twenty miles today on the ol' Ti hardtail, and it damn near killed me to maintain a 20m.p.h. average. It's shameful, and I am sorry...to myself. That being said, it was a blast to be out on the 4th of July cruising the neighborhood of Upper Arlington like a giant land manatee out of the zoo.


In the last race I did before moving, high atop Idyllwild with Vanessa, Randy, King James and Roger.



As the children gawked in awkward fascination at the flacid pile of human flesh jiggling along the roadside, the parents averted their eyes so as not to ruin a healthy appetite. Fumbling into my pocket for tasty energy treats from HOSTESS and Little Debbie, I managed to inhale about fourteen Ho-Ho's on my one hour excursion (What? I was hungry!)


Sad that I once was fast enough to be in ads..like this Kenda ad w/ pic from Flagstaff, AZ.


As I hit the formerly insignificant "bump" that ascends the river's edge to Kenny Road, one of my breasts flopped out and almost got hung up in the front wheel. As I began to feel the fried chicken gravy course through my ever-shrinking veins, I began to hallucinate like a bloated drunkard in a sweat-lodge. Thankfully the highest point here is only about nine or ten pedal strokes in total distance, so just before my heart exploded, I managed to crest that bump.


Marathon Trail in Utah is at this point about 10,000 feet or so. Elevation? What is that?



Planning the ride to get the "climbing" (funny) out of the way first, it was all down hill back to my 'hood. Finishing up early like I do in the sack, (One of my favorite ads . Ever.) I had some time to do hill repeats along the Tour Of Grandview race course. Thankfully, I am home now and ready to blow my Super-Band-Waistband form Fruit Of The Loom

**"Fruit Of The Loom Guys" imposters. Not cool, man. Not cool.**
completely out at the family BBQ. I can only hope that you are all enjoying the day, getting in some beer, boobs, and BBQ.

Took my beloved hardtail out on January 1st, 2009. It was at about 9 degrees that day.



I just hope the boobs you see don't come from the team owner here at Backbone Adventure Cycling...



Indian Creek trail to Noble Canyon? Yep, I USED to be able to ride all that on the hardtail. I couldn't even get up the pavement climb to START that ride now.



Happy 4th everyone!

3 Comments:

At 9:05 AM, Blogger rushman said...

how funny I just walked this section of noble canyon on friday AH I remember it well.

 
At 3:01 PM, Blogger timari said...

hey chris, maybe you can get Hostess as a personal sponsor right about now????? :) Or, maybe KFC is lookin' for a new Colonel?

 
At 6:23 PM, Blogger Vegas said...

Not KFC, they just went "grilled"! Haha!

 

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