Sunday, January 23, 2011


Wedged somewhere between Dynamic and Gigantic lies a shadowy realm finally named last night for the first time. Who knew that a late night trip to Westerville would yield the birth of a new way to describe something's sheer awesomeness. With the overuse of terms like "extreme" leaving us with little to utilize in the off chance that something is in fact beyond the norm, drunken nights with friends sometimes yield literary gold.

While absorbing pints of Guinness at Jimmy V's last night after Lydia's show, my friend Dave Tabron was attempting to explain how gargantuan something was....but gargantuan apparently wasn't getting the job done.
As the beer mixed with sparks in his brain (and a wet fart or two mixed in at the same time) Dave slurred a word that I will be using for the foreseeable future. It started to form on his lips slowly as he feverishly scanned the dark recesses of his mind for the right word. Watching it evolve was hilarious in it's own right.

A couple of years back Dave had taken a nasty fall on his mountain bike and seperated his shoulder.
Not having gone to the doctor right away led to what was used by the local Med School instructors as a case study in how bad a shoulder can get when left unattended after an accident. I am postive that the resulting prescriptions for pain medication left lasting residual pharmaceutical damage to his brain. Roll it all together and you get my new favorite word.


It's not just any word. It's like a new class of Superword that the Government hunted for years and now has locked away in a rotting hanger in the Nevada desert,
waiting for the time to unleash it on an unsuspecting enemy during our greatest hour of need. My fear is that once unleashed on the population it will spread quickly and overpower us all, just like television's over-use of Beyonce in advertising.

Will we be at Sea Otter in April and see every new bike brand using some dopey new acronym to set their product apart from the others with names "EGT" (Easton Gynamic Tubing) or "Gynamic Suspension Design?" I hope not...but at least if it DOES happen that way, you'll be able to tell all your friends where it came from. Just do me a favor, and if it gets so big you hear Beyonce say it during a commercial for Shake-Weights just choke me out and toss some rocks on my carcass so I don't have to see it devolve any further.


At 2:36 PM, Blogger rushman said...

I bet Beyonce wish's she had GYNAMIC tit's and NOT a GYNAMIC ass!!!!!!!!!


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