Tuesday, March 10, 2009

THE ARNOLD; Classic!

Wow! All of a sudden I am THIRSTY!

Mel looking at Taylor's picture

I had a full body condom on, so it was o.k. to be that close..

If that's a woman, I'm Grace Jones.

Little Lydia demonstrating her mad "Hulkamania" skills.

"For every hot woman, there's a man out there somewhere tired of her crap." Confuscious

Ever seen a woman with a nut-bag? You can check that off the list, because you just saw it.

The Governator was rolling past the Amino Vital booth, but he really was supposed to be back home in Cali getting the whole "budget crisis" thing worked out. Good thing he hasn't taken a dime of his state paycheck since he's been in office! I love this guy, even if he can't speak English yet..

The last two women on the planet that Brant Hatton hasn't slept with. What's that? Last night? Really? I hate Brant Hatton.

I just had to see that again. Sorry.

Me, POB and Little Lydia

Jeff and his..uhhh..."secretaries."

I really am thinking about my fiancee.

O.K., so this girl is a good friend of one "Balls McGee." She stopped by the booth Sunday and said she would show us her birth canal for a t-shirt. None of us actually wanted to SEE anything she had to offer, so we gave her a shirt anyway. Dedicated to her "craft" she went ahead and showed us where the welfare money goes. This one was not good. DEFINITELY the noon on a Wednesday girl at the strip club for sure. I showered for a good hour and a hlf after she left, and played "The Crying Game" while I was in the fetal position in the corner of the tub.

Pete blew an O-ring as he hefted this girthy leg up to hip-height. After a laborious nine hour surgery to remove the skin on his hand and re-graft NEW skin in it's place, POB managed to make it back to the hall in time to close it down.

Saturday was a VERY fun day at the annual Arnold Fitness Classic in Cbus. Jeff came up late Friday night to help out at the booth, and so we downed a six pack and met up in the morning. The entire crew was already there, waiting to get going. Saturday was SLAMMED, with not an inch to spare inside that building. The fire department CLEARLY was paid to take the day off during ticket sales on Saturday, because it was so clearly unsafe to be in that building with that many people! Fiddy-Cent was there, as was Ahnult and Maria Shriver. Even the famously-ass-holeic Lou Ferigno was there! Jeff and I remained absolutely slammed for the entire day, then managed to catch a ride home by Little Lydia. Turns out she and the tall one live in my 'hood! We cleaned up, then picked up POB and went to see Lydia Brownfield play at NORKA FUTON down on High Street!

Once that was all over, we all went on a pub-crawl until about 1 or 2 a.m. Sunday at the show would be less busy by half, but it sure started out with a bang. We had a self-proclaimed stripper stop by and ask us if we'd trade a shirt for a show. My immediate answer was "no," but POB had been away from home for about seven hours, and said "O.K." Retina's ablaze with ugly, I sprang like a gazelle to the nearest Emergency Eyewash Station in a futile attempt at cleansing the vision etched into my now-useless eyes. Looking like wet oat meal poured into a pair of pantyhose, she began to show us parts of the female anatomy I'm not sure I was ready to behold. "Was that a class ring that just fell outta' there?" queried Melinda. I wasn't sure, but I was certainly not going to pick it up. That could have belonged to Mr. T for all I know, and he wore FIVE KNUCKLE rings.

This was how my Sunday started at the Arnold Classic...

Many folks were turned on to Amino Vital last weekend, mostly because of how hot Jeff and I looked (the girls were of little use, clearly.) in our BACKBONE team jerseys. I actually had about thirty people ask if they could buy them! Having larger breasts than all women at the show combined, I decided it would be best if I kept my jersey on....


At 6:44 PM, Blogger Peter said...

Well, I think you pretty much covered it...and then some. BTW, what's George Castanza doing in the picture with Arnold?

At 1:01 PM, Blogger Tookie said...

What do you think we could get that stripper chic. to do for a ten dollar bill next year.

I had a great time, thanks for the invite POB.


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