Fontucky NCS Race Report

Hey party people! The weekend was great, despite the temperature swings and 100mph dust storms that tore through the place. I was very proud of the Backboners over the past few races, and this one is no exception. Medals seem to come as though my team were magnetized (maybe a result of Fontana's dangerously high toxicity levels?) these days. Friday the Super-Deezie went off, and Bert, Vanessa and Ryan flung themselves down the mountain with wreckless abandon..kinda like the way I approach a bucket of KFC and a six pack! Bert placed 5th, Vanessa 6th (after two crashes) and Ryan took 5th as well.


The course was rocky, dry, and sandy and offered the riders no chance to recover or take a mental break. During the Expert XC race on Saturday morning, Ara's directional capabilities took him to Banning instead of Fontana. He arrived with twenty minutes until race time with a blown out rear shock. In 15 minutes Roger had it torn out, and FOX had rebuilt it, and I had it replaced and ready to race. Too close for my taste, but ARA surely would make it right on the course....or not. The Fuzziest managed to do a mean rendition of Bert's El Prieto run a couple of weeks ago and eat total s**t. Possibly breaking HIS hand as well, the Fuzz managed to finish his race caked in filth. O.K., so he STARTED it that way, too, but whatever.

Vegas Bob continued his hammerfest, placing 8th on a hardtail in one of the most technical races we have. VB's girl showed up as well, proving that despite common knowledge, even drummers get lucky once in a while. Vanessa (Mrs. Roger) crashed twice on Friday's SD race, injuring her side and back pretty badly. She lined up 24 hours later for the XC race, and blasted her way to 4th. Her teammate DAWN LYONS came out of retirement to take the silver medal in her Expert class, giving us the 5th medal of the weekend so far!

Bert "The Hurt" Blanchette went for his Singlespeed XC race, beating the Sho-Air guy and taking second! That ol' bastard can hammer, even with the walker and colostomy bag! Bert spent some time this weekend making rude (but funny) comments to me(that is the unfortunate bi-product of always dishing it out, eventually I have to take it) in between his races. If his mother only knew what this team has done to him...

Ryan and Randy had their races Sunday a.m., and they did not disappoint. Ryan managed to take another top five finish, and Randy had to race without teammate James Cross to qualify for the National Championship, placing 13th. Randy's class had a few sandbaggers (blog page later on that) that I easily recognized from their 23 years in Sport Class' top 5. Thankfully, one of them (the 2nd place guy) course cut right in front of me, and so i was able to turn him in and ask that his record be checked. So eggregious were his years in Sport, they gave him LAST PLACE, and mandatorily moved him to EXPERT. If I have to go through the amateur ranks one at a time to clean 'em up, I guess that's what I'll have to do! Johnny-O should be next, don't ya'll think?

The DH guys had a World Class race course to hit Sunday. They also had several World Class Pro's in their Semi-Pro field. It seems that USA Cycling/UCI decided that any non-US pro had to provide race resumes to race Pro at this NCS, and when noone got the memo, they were all bumped down to a lower category. That meant that Jay and Taylor had to race some of Canada and Europe's finest. They both did amazingly well, Jay taking 13th (?) and Taylor taking a dirt nap. Oh yeah, on his RAGING fast dh run, big T went over the bars Super-Man style just before the finish and took himself out. Why am I NEVER there when that happens? Randy and I went up to watch, but quickly ran out of beer and lost interest.



Big Al from the famous Glendale Heavies Team Support Crew came out to help, as did Roger and King James. Kim also came out, bringing with her the "Male Manipulation Devices" which freely hang from her chest. Using them with great efficiency, Kim managed once again to deplete the schwag stockpile in the pit area.
Jim Wannamakebabies hired two crack-babies to help us out in the booth, and I still have yet to decide whether or not they were helpfull or just really scary. OH, and the girls came back out again to promote the KENDA product line. They are always funny to talk to, but they do get the word out about the product!


Did I mention the snakes? Rattlers were everywhere, and during the DH race I sat right next to one who seemed to be enjoying the race as much I was. I really wanted a new belt, so I skinned it and bought a sweet SUNLINE belt buckle. Ralph lauren ain't got nothin' on me!

All in all, we had a great weekend again, and the team continues to advance and expand at a manageable rate. It has been nice to see people trying new things, and making new friends from the teammates we have added this year. James stayed VERY LATE with me Sunday night to close the KENDA trailer down, putting in 4.5 hours into an already sleep deprived day. Thanks to Roger also for once again helping out more than he should, and it was great to see Dawn out on course again!




This coming weekend, several Backboners will be at the Idyllwild Spring Challenge, So Cal's toughest mtb race. The Colorado crew also will be racing, and the boys back east have some work to do as well. Good luck to everyone this coming weekend, and for the 19th-20th Castaic race, Roger will be assuming team cap'n duties...hmmm...would that make him the "Jolly Roger?"















****Abel Vaca's new racing helmet************************








*****The Fuzziest, post crash and pre-op*********************************








***********Vegas Bob in the whoops*******************************