Interbike Day 7, Saturday

Saturday a little after midnight I burst from my bed and made haste to the ball-washer sink in my expansive bathroom at Excalibur. Known as The Technicolor Yawn, Talking To The Seals, and Blowing Chunks, the vomit was billowing forth from the depths of my bowels. Filling the sink with a mixture of vodka, Stella Artois, sushi and sake I was reminded that I am no longer twenty something. I am unsure how rice and cut up fish could have come out of my eyes.......but it did......and wasabi does NOT feel like Visine. I blame my wing-man Pete Obrien (heretofore known as POB) and wing-woman Mel. Amino Vital makes a great product called Kampai for hangovers. Yeah....uh....we didn't have any of that on us. If I look as bad as I feel, that should land me somewhere squarely between Ernest Borgnine
and that bloated hermaphrodite Brooke Hogan.


I made it here to the airport somehow...and back to my room last night....and have some time to kill. I will attempt to walk you through some of the events of last night.



After the long and boring day at the Hall, we tried to forget about the dirt-bags that were rolling up the carpet in front of our booth. Having lost their teeth from meth use at the early age of twenty two, these two men had a combined IQ of an average house plant. We rolled from the show around 7p.m. and each headed back to our respective hotels for a shower. Mandalay Bay was the destination, where we headed to Red Square for what would turn into about three hundred bucks worth of booze. It was to be four shots of vodka each...and TALL ones....with Stella chasers for each one. None of us had eaten since the day before, so it went to work quickly. By the end of shot #2, we all were done already. Thankfully though, alcohol makes you partially retarded, so we had two more. Good times..good times.

But wait! That's not all! There was a SUSHI place next door! Sushi and an ass-load of vodka sounds awesome, right? Oh, and I know, let's roll through TWO bottles of hot sake just for good measure. By midnight none of us could walk without the other, and it was a miracle any of us made it home. That's when the fun began. I managed to get to my room somehow. Then I had to get to the bathroom. Running drunk and naked has inherent problems. Have you ever sat on your own balls on the toilet seat? Ladies? (ok, I was just trying for an extra laugh there)


Putting my face in the same place my bag was laying all week during tooth brushing sessions was a sad little twist as I leaned in and filled the basin with tasty sushi-vodka. The sun came up this morning way too early and I am now here at the airport, praying for death. Please don't offer me a beer for at least three years. I'd say "Holla'" but it would just make my head hurt....oh god..someone just sat down with scrambled eggs...I gotta go...



ps..I added some new pix to Wednesday's report from the Arena X race!