Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Vanessa's Birthday!

Drunk in Texas

Things will happen tonight in Long Beach. Things I don't want to hear about. Debaucherous, lecherous things I can't even imagine. If the police (or team sponsors) were aware of what was to happen tonight on Vanessa's birthday, the LBC would be in a panic. All of the take-out liquor stores in the O.C. will be busily replenishing their stock of fire-Cheetos and booze.

Drunk at Havasu

I have no doubt that all the Backboners in SoCal will be preparing their stomach linings for the grievous assault that will take place on them tonight. Margaritas, cheap beer, and Taco Bell mixed in with In-N-Out Burgers. That will certainly make for a miserable Thursday...but who cares?

Drunk and slutty (Roger's favorite)

IT'S VANESSA'S BIRTHDAY BITCHES! GET TO GETTIN' and call Super-V today. Better yet, bring her some booze, because for a 75lb girl, she can sock it away better than a college frat nerd.

Drunk and first place at a race (almost as good as drunk and slutty)

Fresh from a booze cruise around the South (Vanessa's favorite place!), she has been sippin' on moonshine and toilet wine, so she's ready to rock. Roger just returned from the hardware store with a hose clamp, funnel and some surgical be ready.

Drunk in New Orleans, but with a bath and a breath mint

Happy Birthday Vanessa! Don't get arrested, you all have a race next weekend....

Drunk with an enabler.


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