Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Jim Roff's Childhood Dream

When Backbone's very own cracker-ass-cracker Jim Roff was a young boy walking the streets of Eagle Rock, he dreamt of one day becoming the greatest break dancer that ever lived. He spent hours strolling the barrio with his 4' X 4' square of double laminated cardboard, just in the off chance he could imitate some of the moves laid before him in his favorite film (even to this day), "Breakin' 2, Electric Boogaloo." It was during a dance-off that Jim would suffer a major injury that would never again allow him to partake of the street-side voodoo that was breakin'. While performing a perfect "inch-worm" maneuver, Jim's spine severed so badly, he had a mass of convulsions that actually would win him the dance contest! Unbeknownst to the spectators, who had simply thought he was "popping and locking," Jim was permanently damaged. The shame of not earning that trophy would haunt Jimbo for years, and led him to cycling in an attempt to forget about his past as the greatest caucasian break dancer of all time. Please take a moment of silence for Jim and all the other white break-dancers out there who's dream were dashed. They are not alone...


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