Idyllwild Spring Challenge O' Death

The Idyllwild Spring Challenge was like going in for a colon cancer screening for the first time. You think "hey, this won't be bad, I'll be in and out and home in no time!" If only you had remembered the part about the giant plastic camera getting shoved in your butt....







Randy, James, Heidi, Vanessa, Roger and I rolled up to Idyllwild on Saturday night. After fighting the L.A. traffic heading east, we finally arrived around 7p.m. We registered, went to the venue and set up camp. There, the shennanigans started. Heidi laughed so hard that night, I hinestly thought the sharted he sleeping bag. Old Cougars will do that from time to time. We FINALLY fell asleep at midnight, but the cold night air at five thousand feet crept into the tent making sleep difficult. Heidi had to brave the forty degree temps to pee about
twelve times, but finally fell asleep for good.




We awoke to the sound of the hustle and bustle of a race, and we were excited to do what has been touted as the last REAL mountain bike race in California. Word to the third, my friends. They were an hour late starting the race (10 instead of 9 am), and that was BAD for me. It was creeping up to 90 degrees, and at this elevation and higher, I was going to suffer more than I have at any other cycling event I have ever done........I have done a LOT of cycling events. The gun goes off, and I start WAY at the back as usual. In the first two miles, we lost four guys. Two crashed in the first 1/4 mile, one breaking his bike and the other his wrist. The next two fatalities occured another mile or so in, where a log bridge saw both of them fly off an end up in the rocky dry creek bed below. Well, at least I won't get last!



James caught me about six miles in, and just FLEW by. Randy caught me about two miles later, but it was on a mile long hike a bike section, so we cried like babies together for a bit. Finally he went on, and after that, I was left to fend for myself. I was doing well for a guy who never rode here (and never rides), with an ingrown toenail on th right big toe. Then, the worst possible scenario happened. Three and a half miles of hike-a-bike up a sheer vertical wall of loose sand and rock. The toe began to fountain puss and blood like it were in the lake at Bellaggio. Awesome. This section of the race appeared to have no end, but just as I was about to give up.....it kept going for another hour. Nice. Randy could be heard cussing and saying things like "If I wanted to go for a Goddamn walk I'd have brought my DOGS!" This section was longer than every hike a bike I have ever done, put together and multiplied by 100. Both legs stopped working, and I had to stop several times and lie down, trying to stretch out the acid from my quivering muscles. Ninety degrees never hurt so bad.







Despite the vomit inducing length/height of the hike-a-bike, there were actually some fun spots out there. Everything but the off-bike portions were the exact polar opposite. Miles of amazing singletrack and vistas, high speed swoopy trails that led to low speed serious "pucker factor" rock drops and log rolls. I saw many a man with broken bikes, and faces, strewn about the course yesterday. I was amazed at how poorly guys on VERY expensive full suspension bikes rode them in the rough stuff. Heidi was actually complimented by men and women alike on her expert navigation of the nasty stuff, plowing her '02 Titus Racer-X through and over everything. It helped that her KENDA 2.1 Blue Grooves were burly enough to handle the job. Everyone was spanked at the end, and when I finally got in after three hours and thirteen minutes of racing, all were present and accounted for......except James. Some time after the hik a bike, James had flatted while siting in about 4th place. Three hours later, he finally limped in. Randy and I beat him, but only by default. James would probably have beaten me by at least an hour if his current pace kept up. I pushed so hard on the dh sections in an attempt to make up for the climbs, I ended up breaking my fork!
Oh, and the 19 miles this race was touted to be was WAY under estimated. My computer showed 24.2 miles...and an average heart rate of 180 bpm's. Ouch. Much like the colon cancer screening, we never had any idea how painful this race was going to be. it was amazing in some ays, and the worst in others. I rode things I probably shouldn't have, and found myself praying for a quick death by errant hunter's bullett several times. What is it that makes us continue on to that finish line? My entire body shut down, but I still managed to pass one more guy in my class before the race was over. So sore today all I can do is type....and drink beer....I have to get to work on my storage unit and prepare for the 1st..


Thanks to Roger for pitting for us again, and even though my body may never fully recover, I am happy that I have done this, and would certainly do it again.........not the colon thingy, the race. Duh.