Wednesday, December 26, 2007

The Cougar Chronicles

Every once in a while you meet someone that creates a spark in your life. They reinvigorate something that maybe you were taking for granted or had lost a bit of lustre for. They ask nothing, and give everything. That person for me was Heidi Volpe. Completely unassuming, yet one of the best riders I have ever met, Heidi makes me happy everytime I see her..every time we talk on the phone or send e-mails. She is the perfect mate for Darter (also one of my favorite people ever), and a perfect fit for this team. She has made me work harder to be better for all of you, and I am thankful for that. All that being said, Heidi "Cougar' Volpe had a sit-down with me a handfull of months ago to tell me what was going on for next season. I asked that she keep it under wraps until after Christmas.

The night we spoke of this was the beginning of a week of heartbroken and sleepless nights. Typically when someone leaves the team, it's because of an easily understandable personality conflict between yours truly and the other person. That being the case, I am typically not too upset and often glad to see them go. Heidi is not one of those people (at least I don't think so, she COULD be pissed at me for any # of things I'm sure, but she left that part out!). I was depressed for days, if not weeks. I am still not 100% over the whole thing, but have grown a small leathery patch on what's left of my crunchy, crispy, dark litttle mass of a cajun- blackened heart in order to cope with the loss.

It's my fault for letting so much of everyone in, I guess. I just don't know how to do this any other way. Heidi is someone that makes you want to keep going, keep fighting the good fight day in and day out. I have never heard anyone call me and say that Heidi was being a bitch, or talking s**t behind my (or anyone else's) back, or doing anything that would otherwise chap my ass. Nothing. How do you NOT like someone like that?

So anyhow, she came to us right before the Keyesville Classic, which she promptly won. She followed that up with a high-podium at the X-Terra race. She quickly racked up victories in both XC and DH races, showing her depth at the Fontana NCS race. There she would race DH and XC, getting 2nd and 1st respectively.
She also managed to get 2nd place in the 24hrs of Moab w/her man Darter, and just pretty much killed it in every race from Sea Otter to the Cal State series, and topping it off with some Rim Nordic races for good measure.

At Sea Otter, she gave Taylor and I facials in our hotel room. With a gay factor of about 12 and a half, we still laughed despite the fact that we had cucumber slices in our eye sockets. She always shows up ready to roll, and provides me with every single item of info or photo that I ask for. She has been much more than just a racer for the team. Heidi was an inspiration to Des, and quickly became a friend to Lydia despite the obvious discomfort of the situation.

What else can I say about someone that will be missed well beyond the apparent race day shennanigans? How do you not love a girl who can TOTALLY and COMPLETELY kick your ass on a bike, uphill or down? If it sounds like I love Heidi just a little, I think I just might...but I'm probably not alone...Darter is a master with the chopping axe though and therefore all the guys on the team keep it to themselves....but we all talk about it....that's right, we ALL talk about it! :)

Heidi is often spotted in magazine article photographs riding some disgusting single track or running on some trail in the Santa Monica Mountains. She also happens to be a big-wig at the Los Angeles Times, so you better RECOLYZE that she not just talented on two wheels. She is probably smarter than you, which sucks, because she's faster too. OK, maybe not BERT but the rest of us for sure. Of course, Bert probably cheats anyhow so let's throw Bert under that bus as well.

Well, so here's the knife-twist that really put the "ouch" in "Ouch that really f*****g hurts that you are leaving." The NINER team she THOUGHT she was leaving us for is actually a club team abortion of the Sho-Air (read that as Short-Hair) Team with the world's most hated Sandbagger, Johnny O'Mara. The rest of it all I could deal with, but the Short-Hair team affiliation really makes my schnitzel wanna blow chunky pork sausage gravy with shards of shrapnel, just for the pain.
It's like finding out your daughter just returned home from a late night with Tommy Lee, and she's having trouble sitting down.

Anyhoo....I am hoping that Heidi will fulfill her obligation to NINER sooner than later. I also secretly pray that the experience at Short-Hair will leave her so saddened that she will call me back after the first couple of races and ask to come back into the fold. That is my dream, and if I believed in ghosts I'd pray for that to happen every night. Heidi, I will miss you a great deal, and will secretly work to undermine the team you are going to in order to speed your return to the only team worth riding for.

So enjoy the Heidi photo montage, and I will expect many responses to this page. Any negative comments will result in the author of such a comment's immediate and horrible demise. Much love to Heidi and Darter, see you soon...


At 11:25 AM, Blogger Vegas said...

Who is this again? She looks a little familiar, but I don't think I met her.

At 1:37 PM, Blogger JIMBO said...

Goodluck with everything Heidi.. Although we never had the chance to actully meet.. I've heard good things about you and Darter.. Maybe someday we can all share a few cases of beer together and talk about what a complete Fag Chris is.. I'm sure you've already had that conversation countless times.. I received your Jerseys in the mail the other day and will make sure the girls wearing them do justice to their previous owner.. Thankyou Goodluck and Godspeed !!!

At 6:57 PM, Blogger Vegas said...

Oh sure Jimbo, take the funny out of my "I didn't meet her" line by really not meeting her. GALL!

We will miss you so Quadzilla!

At 7:07 AM, Blogger Cap'n said...

How come it's never the ones you WANT to know, like Bert! haha..



Post a Comment

<< Home