Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Wednesday rant #2; Kentucky GRILLED Chicken?

This is what happens when you eat Kentucky GRILLED Chicken.

WHO IN THE F**K THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD PLAN? It's just as bad for you as the REAL KFC, the salt alone would kill a horse in that grilled crap. Who goes to KFC for grilled chicken?

It's like going to a tittie bar for the FOOD!

**"No thanks, I'm here for the buffet."**

How can one deny the crunchy, savory, fatty decadence of the one and only Extra Crispy, with it's 11 herbs and delicious spices? Are you f*****g kidding me? I can grill salty ass yard-bird at home!

Grilled chicken.

**Chickens like grilled human, not the other way around. Geez.**

That just pisses me off. What "focus group" decided to waste perfectly artificially plumped-up, hormonally imbalanced and genetically modified chicken parts on GRILLING? There no BBQ's at the Colonel's house! Only crunchy, golden goodness.

**Upon hearing of KFC's decision to go grilled, Colonel Sanders unburied himself, moved to Japan, his arms and legs fell off in disgust, then he turned to stone forever.**

They make side dishes that aren't fit for a landfill, but they change the damn chicken. Great. They leave the powdered gravy-esque, septic-tank-skimming, not-even-qualified for human-consumption "gravy" alone..but add GRILLED f*****g chicken. Sweet. Now some damn owl-saving sandal wearers are going to slow down my drive thru experience with something the Colonel would re-start the Civil war over.

**Gravy treatment facility in Kentucky**

Death to grilled chicken at the Colonel's place. DEATH I SAY!

That is all.


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